Abstaining from responsibility has always been a difficult thing for Kurt. Brought up to be self-sufficient, he's never been the kind of person to ask someone to do something that he would not be willing to do himself. Learning to become a teacher and a leader of others has only reinforced this idea; it's far easier for him to imagine himself shouldering a burden than asking someone else to take it on. The idea of sitting back and letting Mystique run amok jars with everything he's been taught. But at the same time he can't deny that Wes has a point, and after all it's not as if he's ever been able to control her in any way, even with all of the resources of the X-Men at his back.
He considers the idea in silence as they approach the car, letting Wes guide him in, glancing up gratefully at the weight of his hand. He's glad to set the party behind him, but the weight of what's come out of it still sits heavily on his shoulders. Distantly, he feels his Fluid buzz against his palm; responses from Logan and Jean-Paul, more reminders that he's not alone here.
Turning his head slightly to follow Wes' question, he slips the phone back into his pocket.
Possibly, he agrees after a moment's thought, not enjoying the way Wes has linked himself and his mother in the argument. But she's had a lot of second chances. I've given her too many. I want to believe she can change.
Without a way to finish that thought, he lets it hang in the air and sighs, dropping his head into his hands for a moment or two, before glancing back over at Wes.
I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm not very good at dealing with things I can't plan for.
When Kurt bows his head and covers his face, Wes sets a heavy palm on the back of his partner's neck. He's good enough at hiding himself away to know how to reach through the distance, but he doesn't force the other man to look up until he's ready. Doesn't nudge or urge or insist on eye contact, but rather just lets the weight and the warmth of his fingers act as a promise that he's still there, and that he'll be there when Kurt feels like coming back around again.
To him the parallels are all too apparent, and for that reason it feels easy to know that Kurt has no reason to blame himself. Wes knows that he deserves all of the blame for what he's done in his lifetime. It would be foolish to think anyone else failed by not trying hard enough to stop him, or not being something different for him. He smiles a little and relaxes at Kurt's words.
I haven't noticed much of anything you're not good at, he admits earnestly.
She's a grown woman. Whatever she does, it's her decision. We can all stay alert, but you don't have any responsibility. You understand?
It feels like a shame to dislodge the warmth and closeness of that contact; as soon as it's gone, Kurt feels the need to chase after it, no matter how reckless it would make Wes' driving. He suddenly longs for that comfort, wants the raw and jagged edges of his encounter with Mystique to be blunted by his partner's patient compassion.
I understand, he agrees, forming the words with some degree of reluctance. I just wish I could believe it. I don't think I can be rational about her.
She's your mother, Wes reasons. And you just found out she's here. He signs casually as they drive, sometimes with one hand off the wheel and sometimes with both, but always focused on the road ahead of them. The path back to the cabin has gotten more treacherous lately, and having only a muddled view of a murky gray world doesn't help things very much. But Wes still considers it like a beacon. It's the first place he's ever been that he thinks truly deserves the word "home."
He can't imagine what he'd do if his own mother showed up. He's not even sure she's still alive. You don't have to be rational right now. You don't have to be anything but surprised, or hurt, or confused. It's okay.
Wes pulls into his usual spot, parking the car on a clear path of escape from the cabin with an easy getaway. He turns to the passenger's seat and urges Kurt in for a kiss. I'll make you tea, and you can tell me whatever you want to say.
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He considers the idea in silence as they approach the car, letting Wes guide him in, glancing up gratefully at the weight of his hand. He's glad to set the party behind him, but the weight of what's come out of it still sits heavily on his shoulders. Distantly, he feels his Fluid buzz against his palm; responses from Logan and Jean-Paul, more reminders that he's not alone here.
Turning his head slightly to follow Wes' question, he slips the phone back into his pocket.
Possibly, he agrees after a moment's thought, not enjoying the way Wes has linked himself and his mother in the argument. But she's had a lot of second chances. I've given her too many. I want to believe she can change.
Without a way to finish that thought, he lets it hang in the air and sighs, dropping his head into his hands for a moment or two, before glancing back over at Wes.
I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm not very good at dealing with things I can't plan for.
no subject
To him the parallels are all too apparent, and for that reason it feels easy to know that Kurt has no reason to blame himself. Wes knows that he deserves all of the blame for what he's done in his lifetime. It would be foolish to think anyone else failed by not trying hard enough to stop him, or not being something different for him. He smiles a little and relaxes at Kurt's words.
I haven't noticed much of anything you're not good at, he admits earnestly.
She's a grown woman. Whatever she does, it's her decision. We can all stay alert, but you don't have any responsibility. You understand?
no subject
I understand, he agrees, forming the words with some degree of reluctance. I just wish I could believe it. I don't think I can be rational about her.
no subject
He can't imagine what he'd do if his own mother showed up. He's not even sure she's still alive. You don't have to be rational right now. You don't have to be anything but surprised, or hurt, or confused. It's okay.
Wes pulls into his usual spot, parking the car on a clear path of escape from the cabin with an easy getaway. He turns to the passenger's seat and urges Kurt in for a kiss. I'll make you tea, and you can tell me whatever you want to say.