I'm sorry. It doesn't have to be me, you know? Just make it someone, okay? You have a lot of people who love you, Jean-Paul. It would make me feel better just to know you're willing to talk to one of them.
By spending the week locked away in your apartment?
You don't have wrinkles. If you're talking about the almost invisible lines around your eyes, I wouldn't get rid of them for anything. First sign you're smiling.
Jean-Paul goes looking for Wes, aware that the big man may not be particularly happy to see him. When he spots him, he spends a moment just watching because it feels like forever since he's seen him. In a way, it really has been years.
Wes has never had the luxury of a good representation of what it means to be in a relationship. He knows his own heart, and that heart told him from an early age that he wanted something different than everything else he'd ever known. But he never could have expected just what asking for "different" would get him. Now, he sits in front of a pile of mismatched supplies, frowning at the mess of what he has to turn into a perfect representation of a lifetime of love for Grady.
It seems an impossible task. He picks up a strand of fairy lights, and sets it back down again. Sniffs one of the little votive candles he's hand-poured into a little bit of stoneware. And then he sees the shadow passing on the wall just in front of him, and he freezes.
Hi. Wes starts to stand, then thinks better of it. He gets about halfway off the floor before settling back like a man who doesn't know where to put himself.
It's probably better Wes doesn't get up, because meeting Wes' eyes is enough to tip something in Jean-Paul's heart. He launches himself at Wes, arms around his neck, raining kisses on his face until he winds up sitting in Wes' lap.
I missed you so much. I have a lot to say. It is going to be a lot. Do you have time? I know you're busy with wedding stuff. He laughs - he has a much better idea of how to help with that, now.
By now he's an old hand at inviting back the people who have walked out on him. Making himself available when the very people who told him to stay away realize they want him again. He tries to remember the promise he made Jean-Paul, the insistence that as long as the man had someone to talk to, it didn't matter that it wasn't him. But it hurts just the same, to know Jean-Paul invited Logan over. That the very things he offered might've been accepted readily when wrapped in a different package.
It hurts his heart to want to know that Jean-Paul missed him and to feel like he's still inadequate somehow. Wes drapes his hands on the other man's thighs and lets himself be kissed, but he doesn't hold tight. You want me to go get everyone else? he asks dutifully.
The news is about as shocking as it possibly could be. It shows in Wes's expression. For a moment it softens from guarded upset to utter shock, but soon his eyes are narrowing again and his lips form into a hard line.
What if Jean-Paul hadn't come back? What if he'd gone home and that had been it? The fear grips his chest so suddenly he almost recoils. Then, something very different creeps up the back of his neck.
Because I basically accused Blake and Kurt of fucking behind my back. Jean-Paul has had, in some ways, years to grow. The fight with Blake and Kurt seems both impossibly long ago and only moments ago as well.
I knew I had to get my shit together, because I kept freaking out on you guys.
So you walked away from us, and locked yourself up in your apartment? And now you're saying you went home? Wes lets out a gasp that means to be a laugh, but sounds like the first inklings of a sob. He catches his breath back in his throat and shakes his head.
What if you hadn't come back? That would have been the last time... just a note. Just some note, and me not having any idea what I did wrong. He feels moisture clouding his eyes and wills it away, blinking hard.
Jean-Paul hugs Wes tightly, one hands moving to stroke his hair. He stays that way for a while, then pulls back and very gently runs his thumbs under Wes' eyes.
You did nothing wrong. Nothing. And believe me, I've thought about that, and I felt terrible. I understand, Wes. I feel in love with a guy here who just vanished one day.
I can't apologise enough. All I can say is that I still love you as much as the last time I saw you. Maybe more.
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Hey. Smack Grady's butt for me.
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If you can't lean on the people you love, then what's the point of them?
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Hey. My doppelganger is younger than me. That's so annoying.
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Is he? I only noticed the hair.
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He is. Less wrinkles, the little shit.
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You don't have wrinkles. If you're talking about the almost invisible lines around your eyes, I wouldn't get rid of them for anything. First sign you're smiling.
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Wes, that actually made me feel amazing about them.
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I love every part of you. I don't want the wedding or anything else to change that. I don't want to be the last guy to know everything, either.
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I'm excited for your wedding.
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You're trying to distract me. It's supposed to be soon. Are you sure you're going to be there?
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I'm not trying to make it about me. Take what time you need. Just know there are a lot of people waiting for you to come home.
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action; after being dragged home
He steps closer. Hi.
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It seems an impossible task. He picks up a strand of fairy lights, and sets it back down again. Sniffs one of the little votive candles he's hand-poured into a little bit of stoneware. And then he sees the shadow passing on the wall just in front of him, and he freezes.
Hi. Wes starts to stand, then thinks better of it. He gets about halfway off the floor before settling back like a man who doesn't know where to put himself.
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I missed you so much. I have a lot to say. It is going to be a lot. Do you have time? I know you're busy with wedding stuff. He laughs - he has a much better idea of how to help with that, now.
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It hurts his heart to want to know that Jean-Paul missed him and to feel like he's still inadequate somehow. Wes drapes his hands on the other man's thighs and lets himself be kissed, but he doesn't hold tight. You want me to go get everyone else? he asks dutifully.
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I went home, Wes.
True to form, Jean-Paul isn't about to sugarcoat it.
I was moping in my apartment and then I was gone and back. It's very strange.
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What if Jean-Paul hadn't come back? What if he'd gone home and that had been it? The fear grips his chest so suddenly he almost recoils. Then, something very different creeps up the back of his neck.
Why did you leave the cabin?
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I knew I had to get my shit together, because I kept freaking out on you guys.
I was treating you all terribly.
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What if you hadn't come back? That would have been the last time... just a note. Just some note, and me not having any idea what I did wrong. He feels moisture clouding his eyes and wills it away, blinking hard.
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You did nothing wrong. Nothing. And believe me, I've thought about that, and I felt terrible. I understand, Wes. I feel in love with a guy here who just vanished one day.
I can't apologise enough. All I can say is that I still love you as much as the last time I saw you. Maybe more.
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